Game of Thrones finale: who will sit on the Iron Throne? Follow the action – live
Will Daenerys, Jon Snow, Arya Stark and Tyrion make it out alive? Join us as the biggest show on Earth bows out. Warning: there will be spoilers
We should probably mention the petition really, shouldn’t we? Over a million people have now signed the change.org petition asking HBO to remake this final Game of Thrones season with ‘competent writers’. It’s not for me to say whether or not this petition is a good idea – ALTHOUGH IT’S DEFINITELY A BAD IDEA YOU WET-MOUTHED, GRASPING, BUTTHURT, NEEDY, SNOT-NOSED, MISERABLE, FRIENDLESS TODDLERS – but I shall nevertheless heed its call.
As one of the most competent writers in the biz, I have rewritten the entirety of Game of Thrones season eight, offering the most satisfying conclusion to what has been a mixed bag of a series. Things started to wobble in episode three, so that’s where we’ll pick things up.
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JON SNOW
Light a torch, somebody. It’s really dark in here.
TYRION LANNISTER
Yikes! It’s the Night King!
HBO ANNOUNCER
Game of Thrones has finished three and a half episodes early, so here are some nice cartoons instead.
Another thing you should catch up on: the wonderful episode by episode recaps from Sarah Hughes. She, more than anyone at this publication, has kept Game of Thrones’ flame alive. Every single one of these has been a joy. Also, her piece on what Game of Thrones means to her is just a startling piece of writing.