Popeye Village is One of the Meditteranean’s Most F*cked Up Attractions
The romance factor is what draws most people to the Mediterranean island of Malta. From the turquoise sea crashing into its Princess Bride-like cliffs to the thick stone buildings that make everything feel castle-like, Malta’s official soundtrack could be a combo of Braveheart and that soft porn brown-chicken-brown-cow tune.
The main draw to Malta for me personally is that it’s pretty cheap and one of the only warm-ish places in all of Europe during the winter months. At the time, I’m living in northwestern Spain where it pisses rain every day for six months straight, so I figure Malta is an ideal place to get some vitamin D and some much-needed hanky panky alone time with my long-distance French lover, David.
We do some of the classic frugal-couple-on-a-beautiful-island things—eat the most mediocre food (cheap!), gape at pretty water (free!), instagram old buildings we’re not willing to pay to go inside of (too boring!), and hire a random dude with a barely legal boat to drive us around because he’s ⅕ the price (smart!). Being that I’m a bit of a freak and have a twisted idea of romance, though, my only must do on this trip is to drag David to what I’m sure will be a hilariously bizarre tourist trap (intended for children!) called Popeye Village.